Why do I do this?
Leave myself in the dust.
Why do I do this?
Leave my desires unmet.
Why do I do this?
Accommodate you always over me.
The scale tips towards codependence
No matter how hard i try
To stay aware of my learned nature
To sacrifice me for your wellbeing
Safety measures overworking
Over-amplified in the background
Hyper-vigilance running my systems
Self-sacrificing who I am for who you are
Why do I do this?
Disregard my truth for your comfort.
Why do I do this?
Fitting in with you to avoid abandonment.
Why do I do this?
Forgetting my ways to fit in with yours.
Chameleon effect in full force
Being who you need me to be
As code for love on highest
When code for love on lowest...actually.
Love isn’t love when I let you love my shell
Love is love when I bare all of me and a choice made from there
Forgive me for robbing you of the chance
To love the fullest, rawest, brightest me
Why do I do this?
Because I haven’t loved me yet.
Why do I do this?
Because the learned model was corrupt from the beginning
Why do I do this?
Because I get to be the one to break this endless, painful cycle.
The more I see, the more I know.
The more I know, the more I learn.
The more I learn, the more I see.
The more I see, the more I heal.
In my power I go with you hopefully by my side
Not blaming you for the sudden switch
Inviting you to meet your power side by side
On we go or on we don’t.
I hope we can choose each other from this new space
I hope we get to know each other here
And if we don’t, my love, thank you
Thank you for being the exact mirror I needed to see the real me.
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